February 19, 2019 Blog No Comments

Everyone has heard like attracts like, but what if you are attracting things you don’t want? Despite it sounding so easy, there is a lot of subtlety to making the Law of Attraction work.

I’ve had interesting conversations about this over the last week. In talking with people at home and while traveling, I heard about their negative experiences and what it took to change to the positive.

It’s what we all wonder – how do you make the leap from attracting the negative to living your dream? And what do you do if you’re in the middle of things you don’t like? Here are some thoughts I shared:


The most important starting point is to clarify what you want. Ask yourself the hard questions. Are you seeking what’s important to you, or are you are trying to fit a round peg in a square hole?

I heard that story from the owner of a successful NYC based on-line shoe store. He woke up to knowing he needed to own and run his own business rather than feeling one-down working for someone else. There is a big difference between being aligned with your sense of purpose versus trying to make whatever is in front of you work, like he’d been trying to do for years.

Make sure what you want supports your skills and your sense of who you are. If you’re seeking something that serves your ego and not your greatest good, you’re pushing against the river and it will never work.

Make sure you’re aligned with your skills and purpose, supporting your best self, not your ego. 


Another pit fall that creates a disconnect between what you say you want and what is happening is your secret thoughts. If you have countering, negative thoughts about yourself or the people around you, you are setting up contradictory energy.

The energy of your thoughts take form when they are given enough time and attention. So, if you’re in a situation you don’t like, be aware of how you may be unconsciously sabotaging yourself. You may say you want one thing and be negating it by saying it’ll never happen for you, or you don’t like the people involved. The shoe store owner recognized he was creating his own hell with his negative thoughts about his boss. The negativity he had been secretly harboring held more energy than his positive desires and he was creating the very things he didn’t want.

Negativity takes form when it’s given time and attention and will derail your stated desires. 


Do you imagine how things could be so much better, almost perfect, if a few changes were made? Sometimes you are in situations where the energy of the people around you needs to be redirected.

Be the change you seek. Rather than ruminate about what you don’t like – initiate the change. Make sure you are projecting a positive expectation of what you’d like. It may be feedback that can make a big difference. I heard this from several people. When the feedback works, you’ve created the needed breakthrough.

Since thoughts are energy and perceptions can change in a flash, huge shifts can occur if what you say is understood, accepted and implemented.


Pay attention, sometimes things don’t work for a good reason. If you’re clear, your thoughts are aligned with your greatest good and you’ve tried to make your situation better and it hasn’t worked, maybe it’s time to take another look at what’s happening.

I had a wonderful conversation with a Nashville singer who is suddenly realizing huge success by doing what comes more naturally and letting go of what wasn’t working.  You can figure this out by standing back and looking at it from a distance, as if from a mountain top. What direction is your current situation taking? Is it really right for you? You may be blocked for a reason that forces you to consider another course that works better, as the singer did.

Anything you Chase After Runs  

So, if you are attracting things that aren’t working for you, take a little time to assess why this may be happening. It can be the product of a number of things.  Are you clear that what you say you want is really the truth and is right for you? Are you harboring secret negative thoughts that sabotage your efforts, either by casting disbelief that it’ll ever happen or  denouncing your colleagues? Have your tried to speak up to create the change you seek? And finally, if you have considered all this and it’s still not getting better, maybe it means that this situation really isn’t right, maybe you need to consider a change. To make the Law of Attraction work, you must pay close attention to the energy that you create and what’s around you.

Would you like help making the Law of Attraction work for you? Sometimes we get so bogged down in a situation, it becomes hard to see your way out of it. My Transformational Coaching and Counseling is designed to work through these issues. It’s my area of specialty. See my website for more information at www.spectrumtransformation.com and reach out to me using the Free Consultation button. I’d love to help!

Tiger Mural – Lafayette Street, near Broome,  NYC


Written by Connie Milligan, LCSW
If there is anything I’ve expressed that speaks to you, I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me at my email, connie [at] conniemilligan [dot] com