December 2, 2019 Blog No Comments

Image preview

Holidays can be joyous or tough, depending on the memories and rites of passage you have tied up in them. What’s your willingness to address this?  The older we are the fuller they become with rich fodder that defines our life. What can we do with all this?

This holiday was poignant for me. My mother turned 100, which we celebrated with a delightful cocktail party. It was also the 21st anniversary of my sister Sally’s death, which is always surreal and full of memories. And my precious cat, Gifford, unexpectedly died. It’s been a lot to process.

I like using the Laws of the Universe as a template to conceptualize how to process holidays and their unfolding rites of passage. They help me understand my role in setting the tone and expectations for what will transpire. See if this is helpful.

Set You Intentions – Law of Mentalism

The starting point is to be clear on your intentions. We have more control than most of us realize which requires that we learn to exercise our ability to envision and define how we want things to go.

No matter if your family is complex or simple, you will experience more joy if you are clear on the what, why and how you gather to make it meaningful. The clearer you are with your purpose and intent, the better. Knowing we’d be celebrating my Mom’s 100 birthday informed the structure, meaning and clear intention for my family and friends to rally. What joy there was in this.

Raise Your Energy – Law of Vibration

Do what makes you happy and full of positive expectation. So often there is dread involved in the holidays. What a shame. The more you can set intentions that give you a lift, the more you will enjoy them.

When your energy is high, you become an magnet for others to respond positively. It’s a simple formula that works every time. The more you are joyful, the more joy you will receive.

Understand Everything Has It’s Time and Place –  Law of Rhythm

We all have limited time here with specific seasons to our life. Just like the seasons of the year and nature’s life cycle, everything has a beginning, middle and end. Understanding where you are now and what that means reduces some of the resistance you may feel to embrace your role.

With Mom turning 100, it was up to me to roll out the red carpet to celebrate this amazing rite of passage. Perfect – I was so excited to do it. Though I was not prepared to embrace my cat’s death this year, nor my sister’s unexpected death years ago. That’s where understanding the higher order of the Law of Rhythm helps to make sense of life cycles even when it seems out of time. You can usually find reason why things go as they do if you look at from a distance.

Let Contrast Guide You – Law of Polarity

If you have difficult memories embedded in your holidays, as many people do, let the contrast of it guide you to what you’d like to have happen. I love the opportunity holidays offer to travel or do something different and fun with friends and family.

When you don’t want to re-experience something tough, make a point to set an intention to do something unusual. Let the contrast guide you. For years after my sister died, we celebrated with friends to make the holidays more bearable for her kids and us. It was joyous. Make it as different and special as you desire and need.

If you want your holidays to be meaningful while addressing the various rites of passage that are often included in them, consider your role in making them special. Set your intentions for how you want them to go and raise your energy to match that intention. The clearer and more positive you are, the better. Understand that everything is guided by the law of rhythm, and over time, you will invariably deal with difficulty. Rise above and know this and let the contrast of what you don’t want help you define what you’d like to experience. This will make your holidays joyous and memorable

How’re you handling your holidays this year? Does this give you ideas? If you’d like additional help to redefine yours, reach out. My Transformation Life Coaching and Therapy is designed to help you make the most of any life situation you are facing. See my website and use the Free Consultation link to reach me. I’d love to hear from you.


Written by Connie Milligan, LCSW
If there is anything I’ve expressed that speaks to you, I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me at my email, connie [at] conniemilligan [dot] com