July 28, 2020 Blog No Comments

Using your instincts to guide you on life’s big decisions is something I know about. It was ten years ago that I met my husband in a random, unusual manner.  It is possible I would have missed the signs of him being my true love if my instincts had not given me so many strong signals. I realized I have had similar experiences in finding my wonderful home, adopting my son, and having a fulfilling career. Knowing how to read my instincts has been critical in all these events.

As I went down memory lane on the delightful details of meeting my husband, I am still amazed at how it happened and how I knew it was amazing as it unfolded. I thank my instincts for pointing it out to me. In our right-brained culture, this left-brain skill set needs help to be developed. It means going inside, getting still, and paying attention to what is important to you.

Here are a some ideas on developing your instincts to help you as you contemplate any big decision.


Your instincts register with things and situations that have meaning to you and are in line with what you want, which means you have to get clear on what that means. This may sound obvious, but many people are on auto pilot without considering what is really important to them. This is an inside job. It has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks. It means getting out of your own way, tossing the ego aside and paying attention to what your true nature tells you is essential.

Your instincts give you subtle, yet clear signals when you are on the right track. It can be a lift in energy, a buzzy feeling, goosebumps, a rise in excitement along with a clear sense of knowing. I knew I wanted true love – that is different than a boyfriend or a mate. I imagined how I would feel. I waited for that feeling. I did not have it immediately with Lee, but it came soon enough. I wanted to adopt a son, without a long stressful hassle. It was indeed miraculous how he came to me. I envisioned my house and then found it, making an offer before it was on the market.

Instincts rely on a combination of feeling and envisioning to create the signal, “this is it”. Take the time to identify what that means.


Our unconscious mind and the metaphysical energetic world show us things in symbols and signs. You know this from your dreams. They are everywhere around us, if we pay attention and understand them. When you tune in, your instincts will instantly translate their meaning to you. It is like a separate language of your soul that adds another dimension of knowing to your decision-making process.

The variety of ways messages come to you is as individual as we are. What speaks to you? Clouds, birds, animals, colors, billboards, numbers, random messages? I had an owl perch on the tree outside my back door for days before Lee walked in that door. I found one of its feathers right after he did and gave it to him. That spoke volumes to me. Lee came in my house to play music at a party I arranged for his out of town band. He offered to help and wanted to make mango salsa. I thought “good luck finding ripe mangoes”. Kroger literally had a tower of mangoes in crates, taller than him – the top one completely ripe. That was noteworthy. There are many surreal details like this in all the big events of my life.

Significant events usually have significant signs and symbols that alert you that something important is happening. Your instincts will pick up on them and tell you to notice.


When things happen easily, almost like magic, it is usually because synchronicity is involved. It is actually a function of our energetic magnet pull aligning with others who are similarly wired. When something is  important, our desire sends out a very strong signal, if we don’t mess it up with confusion or doubt. When you suddenly meet the right person, get the right information or find the very thing you’ve been looking for, it is no accident – it is the energetic alignment of synchronicity.

There was synchronicity for both Lee and I in our meeting. Lee was ready to move from Pennsylvania back to Kentucky and I had made a final breakup with my boyfriend several days before, with a feeling of relief and freedom. A friend asked me to host a band party for Lee and another one asked if he could stay in my guest room because he suddenly couldn’t accommodate him, by the end of the party it seemed we had hosted it together. Unknowingly, friends we both know had literally put us together.  Every detail was important and noticed by both of us.

Synchronicity makes you notice meaningful connections in the way things come together – it seems miraculous.   

I love remembering these details of meeting Lee. As my instincts said of the above picture taken of us at the party, it seemed we were already a couple. Something special was happening. There was the clarity of intention for both of us in what we wanted for our lives at that time. There were signs and symbols that held strong meaning for me and there was synchronicity involved. The rest continued to unfold just as easily. When a life altering event unfolds easily, you know it is a gift.

How attuned are you to your instincts and aware of how they help you make important decisions? The more you understand their language, the more easily you’ll be able to make life changes with joy and ease. If you want to learn more, reach out. My Transformational Life Coaching and Counseling teaches these principles. www.spectrumtransformation.com. I’d love to hear from you.

Photo by Gregory King, July 2010

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Written by Connie Milligan, LCSW
If there is anything I’ve expressed that speaks to you, I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me at my email, connie [at] conniemilligan [dot] com