October 10, 2017 Blog No Comments

It was so interesting. When I conducted a two-day workshop on “Relaunch – Make Your Transformation Happen”, most everyone knew something needed to change in their life, but not everyone knew what it was or how to do it. When we get in a rut, it’s not always easy to know how to get out of it.

How do we figure this out? It often means digging deeper and facing entrenched patterns. Why do we keep ourselves stuck in unhappy situations, especially when we know they don’t meet our greater good? Why do we say we can’t make a change when ultimately there are always choices we can make?

The answer usually is that the old pattern seems safer than making a change. We need to ask ourselves, “is this true”? Yes, change can be scary, but the toil the suffering has on us is often significant. There can be health issues, anxiety, depression and sleeplessness that robs your joy. If that’s the case, it’s time to face your truth.

Here are some ways to get out of a rut that can help you rise above the situation so you can move forward. See what you think.


Notice the signs that you are in an unhappy situation that needs to be changed. How are you feeling? What does that say to you? When was the last time you felt like the lighthearted, happy person you used to be?

Is there a disconnect between how you act on the outside – like everything is fine – and the way that you really think and feel on the inside? If you’re thought is – “if they only knew how I really feel, people would be surprised”, then you are only hurting yourself.

Are you giving yourself what you want or finding reasons to deny yourself what you long for? Why is fear holding you back? What purpose does it serve?

If your outside behavior and inside feelings and thoughts don’t match- it’s time for a change.


Your soul knows your truth. To find that soul perspective, step back and look at your life from a distance. Imagine looking down from a mountain at the full range of your life in the valley below.

Notice, just notice, what do you see? Look at your patterns, notice how you feel, what you are doing or not doing. Is this the life you expected to have? Did you dream of something different?

Give yourself permission to see your truth – is this life what you really want?


Often the solution starts with simply imagining the relief you will feel if things were different. Give yourself the opportunity to dream and imagine yourself in a new situation that would make you happier. Feel the difference and stay with that feeling for as long as you can.

When you experience the contrast between where you are now and where you want to be, it can give you the inspiration and motivation to make a change. Because we attract what we feel, allowing the positive feelings of change to be a regular part of your life can help you get closer to making it true.

Imagine and feel the contrast a change will make- it helps you to attract and bring it into reality.


Once you have experienced the feeling state of a different situation, it’s easier to look at the thought patterns that have kept you stuck in a rut that doesn’t serve your best interests. Consider what you have been thinking that has stopped you from having what you want. One by one, find the new thought that says, “yes” to change.

The new thoughts will prompt you to take action. What are they? What actions will help make the “yes” thought a reality? When you do something different, it gives you the confidence to know that change is possible. It’s like rocking your car back and forth in a muddy rut and when you turn the wheel, you’re suddenly out.

Finding the “Yes, I can do this” thoughts are the prompts for your new actions. 

Getting out of a rut that makes you unhappy can seem overwhelming and difficult. Whatever pattern holds you in a bad situation, be it a job that’s not agreeable, a difficult relationship, a uncomfortable living environment or even the denial of what you really long for, can all be changed. To give yourself a wakeup call for change, acknowledge what’s not working and observe your truth, from your soul’s perspective. Then allow yourself to dream about what you’d really like and notice the light, happy feeling you experience. All this can inspire you to change your thoughts and take new action. This pushes you toward the transformation you seek!

I know this makes moving out of a rut sound simple and easy when its often very difficult. If you are seeking change, consider getting some support. My Transformational Life Coaching is designed to provide the assistance and direction to create the changes you want. Go to my website, www.spectrumtransformation.com for more information and if you have questions, use the Free Consultation button to reach me. I’d love to help.

Written by Connie Milligan, LCSW
If there is anything I’ve expressed that speaks to you, I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me at my email, connie [at] conniemilligan [dot] com