December 20, 2016 Blog No Comments

joy7We had a holiday party on Saturday – it was pure joy! It wasn’t over until 2AM, a sure sign of a good time. What made it extra special? Besides the fabulous live music, it was seeing so many of our dear friends, who have been in a bad place, smiling, laughing hard and dancing with abandon. Being a catalyst for that kind of joy is a gift we are honored to give.

This has been a tough year, hasn’t it? Seems like everyone we know has dealt with more difficulty than usual. There have been health and finance issues, sad personal losses due to death or moving, traumas, work stressors and depression. On top of this, the aversive political climate has cast a pall over our collective mood for months. It’s made for a hard year.

Seeing our friends reclaim their joy made my heart sing. I want to explore this. What is the transformation process that allows us to move from negativity to joy?


When I look back on my articles, I realize this is the third one this year that focuses on the importance of joy. I’m not being redundant; there is a lot to say on this topic. It’s that significant.

When we are in a bad place, most people tunnel in and become more embedded in their dark thoughts. They tend to avoid going out, believing that they don’t have the energy for it and will be bad company. It’s impossible to pull out of a downward spiral with this pattern of behavior. It simply doesn’t work.

That is why coaches and therapists do a brisk business. They never say, do more of the same. They explore the things you have eliminated from your life that make you happy. Whether it’s people, events, activities, hobbies, nature, it doesn’t matter. The initial task is to reconnect to what you love, no matter how bad you feel. The path in this case, was to have fun with friends.

Identify your sources of happiness and bring them back into the center of your life.


Our thoughts are the powerful catalyst for our experiences. They set the intention, being the deciding factor to determine if an experience is happy, fun and enjoyable or sad, lonely, and miserable.

Guarding, minding and changing our thoughts becomes the most important skill set we can develop. It’s necessary to maintain the gratifying life experience that most of us desire and expect. Mentalism, or cognition as it’s called in psychology, is the foundation for everything that happens next.

When you decide to have fun, you establish a template of expectations that guides your attention. This party was created as an event aimed to rekindle the joy we normally experience together.  The intention was clear and was amped up with specific language to encourage that specific outcome.

People got the message and came prepared. They decided they were going to have some long overdue fun.


Creating a positive mind set and maintaining it is how the Law of Attraction works to bring in what you desire.  Once you have fixed your mental attention on a specific outcome, you change your energetic field to attract it. The key, though, is really believing the outcome is yours to have, with no contradictory thoughts, and maintaining it for at least 17 seconds.

That sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, why isn’t it? Because most of us do something very different. We have a thought about something fabulous we want and then almost immediately we tell ourselves all the reasons why we can’t or it won’t work.

We have the dream and then immediately cancel it out with neutralizing thoughts. The energies of each thought are very different and we end up sending a mixed signal. Then we say, “See, this is a bunch of baloney, it never works for me”. And guess what, it never will, if you continue to neutralize your thoughts with contradictions.

Keep your thoughts positive, without contradiction, and watch what happens.


Once we focus our thoughts on a desired specific outcome, we tend to look for evidence of its existence. As we begin to see more of it, the thoughts are reinforced. And yes, more of it continues to be present in our experience. This is also an energetic law, Correspondence, an underpinning for the Law of Attraction.

It is through this process, that we change our experience from being negative to being more joyous. We begin to create a new exchange between ourselves and everything else around us based on our positive thoughts, expectations, and recognition of its existence. In short time, we are having the positive experience that we desire.

Look for evidence of what you want and you create that experience for yourself.

What I have just described, in simple terms, is the complex transformation process we use regularly to change negative experiences into positive ones. This knowledge comes from the guiding principles of the ancient energetic laws of Mentalism, Correspondence and Vibration from the Hermetic Principles. They are the foundation for many current psychological, spiritual and new age thoughts.

I’ll be conducting a six week “Manifestation Course” that will explore these principles and this change process in depth. If you are interested in knowing how to manifest changes in your life, you’ll get all the information you need! It begins February 2, 2017 at Centered. Register at or call 859-721-1841.

If you have questions or want to know more, please reach out. I’m happy to discuss how my services would help any specific situation you may be facing. Go to my website and use the Free Consultation tab to contact me. I look forward to hearing from you!

Written by Connie Milligan, LCSW
If there is anything I’ve expressed that speaks to you, I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me at my email, connie [at] conniemilligan [dot] com