February 18, 2020 Blog No Comments

The power of love is always humbling. Seeing it change a person’s life is like watching an act of grace unfold in front of you. I have the honor of watching this change process regularly in the Mental Health Court program I work with that diverts people from jail and prison into treatment. Last week we had the “Best Day In Court Ever” – I declared it, we all declared it. The positive transformation made from our caring was profound in every person.

What makes this happen? With wonderful advanced therapies and services out there, there is still one thing at the root that will make a difference. It is the power of genuine compassion, care and love extended to another that helps people change.

In my workshop, I shared the images from Dr. Masaru Emoto’s experiments on the impact of emotions on water crystals*. They provide startling and profound proof of how our words and emotions make an impact. The images of water crystals exposed to the words “love, peace, or compassion” are exquisitely and beautifully formed, in stark contrast to the twisted, deformed water crystals that had the words “I hate you, demon, or I want to kill you” around them.

We can no longer stay blind to the impact of negativity on ourselves or on others, and to the healing power of love. We’re in an energetic world. Our thoughts and feelings energetically make a difference. Let love be the emotion that guides you and watch what happens. Here are some thoughts that can steer that process.

Let Go of Judgement – and Love

Much of our negativity starts with our thoughts about ourselves and what we we’re exposed to. The news, politics, religions, schools, courts, conflicts between cultures and races, even our families can be a source. With our inner critic on auto pilot and negativity bombarding us, we have constant reminders of judgment with few examples of leading with love.

Yet, if we look closer, love is everywhere. When we consider love as something more than romance, we can see it in many small details. There’s the smile from a stranger, a door being held open, a kind word at the store, a generous tip, the offer of help if you need it. And in my case, a court that’s structured around a compassionate belief in a person’s ability to make positive change. Any of these can potentially change us.

Open Yourself To Our Commonality

The old expression, “There but for the grace of God go I” comes to mind frequently when I see people in desperate situations. We are often but a few degrees of separation from others who are experiencing difficulty. My eyes have been opened by what I see in court.

While the experiences of people who have been homeless, on drugs and in and out of jail or prison is very distant from me, I see our commonality. Our hearts can be very similar. And there are those with master’s degrees and high-powered jobs who lost it all from a wrong turn in their life. It’s humbling, seeing that our hearts and minds are often more alike than different. We all want to improve ourselves and make our lives better.

Give What You Want To Receive

In helping people in the court program make changes in their life, we often encourage them to give what they want to receive. Energetically it creates a positive feedback loop that can transport them out of a negative place. Seeing this in action is like watching magic.

People from different walks of life are reaching out to one another to give love, encouragement, and support. Real friendships are formed. Depression and discouragement are replaced with positivity, hope and the sense that the world can be safe and supportive.

See The Positive In Everyone Around You

While seeing the positive in people is second nature to me, having it be at the heart of a court program is a huge departure from what is typical. Yet, here we are, using that principle as a core component in creating change. The results are outstanding, and our data shows that our ability to get people off drugs/alcohol, into employment and stable in treatment are double and triple the national averages. Even the City Council, who heard our presentation for funding last week, was impressed.

Try it for yourself. Take a moment and think about someone who causes you difficulty or distress. Now find the commonality, a point of compassion. It’s like stepping back and seeing the big picture. When you get perspective, you can soften and open yourself to a more loving view. Just making that one change can energetically, radically and abruptly change the dynamics between you. If you can hold it, the nature of your relationship will transform.

We’ve all had experience with love in our lives to know how it changes us. But what about the power it holds when you extend it beyond your personal life? My experience in our court program is demonstrating that simply letting go of judgement and extending love and compassion to others can initiate huge transformation in people. You can see the commonality between us. And when you add giving what you want to receive from others, you create a positive self-perpetuating loop of kindness. From there it becomes easy to see the positive in people. It will help make your life kinder and richer in spirit.

If this speaks to you, maybe you’d like to learn to see yourself more positivity or address some negativity that has a grip on your life? My Transformational Life Coaching and Counseling is designed to help create a transformation process that builds on your strengths. Go to www.spectrumtransformation.com and use my Free Consultation link to reach me. I’d love to hear from you.


*Dr. Masaru Emoto’s experiments with water crystals are described in his books and videos.





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Written by Connie Milligan, LCSW
If there is anything I’ve expressed that speaks to you, I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me at my email, connie [at] conniemilligan [dot] com