October 1, 2019 Blog No Comments

We hosted a wedding reception for friends at our home.  It was an amazing experience in unexpected ways. I told my girlfriend, I have not been in a situation where the attention to details was so exacting, going beyond my own tendencies. Her comment, about the importance of being true to yourself hit a chord with me, prompting this reflection.

Having been raised in the south at a time when women were expected to be deferential to people in authority, I have worked for years to undo the mindset and responses instilled by that training.   Now I’m interested in discovering situations where the old instinctive response resurfaces. Attached to this behavior is the thought that to be forceful about what you want and to ask others to do things for you, somehow puts others out and is expecting too much.

Watching my friends navigate a wedding replete with many exacting details involving the help of many friends and those hired for jobs, showed me how it can work beautifully to have everything you want. Here’s what I learned.


As with anything of importance, the starting point is always to clarify your intentions and to create an energetic field for it to come into being .  If you don’t have that clarity, you automatically set yourself up to be swayed by the opinions of others, often many others. It will invariably lead to something that is geared toward the general public and not a reflection of you. Once you’ve given away your power, it’s hard to get it back.

My girlfriend is knowledgeable about energy, knowing that for something to be special, you must raise your energy to match the intention and vision of what you want. This lays the groundwork for all that follows. When you are clear about what you want to communicate with your actions, your event or ceremony, the rest flows easily.

Make any event or situation you organize a true reflection of your intentions and energetic expectation.


What are you hoping to express? What is the message, the meaning and the feeling you want to convey? The clearer and more specific you are, the more you can guide your thoughts and energy toward the proper attitude to bring it to pass. Without that clarity, you can become lost in the process and forget the real purpose.

Our friends were intent on having a joyous celebration and making their wedding profoundly personal and meaningful. It was evident in the attention they put to every facet of what they planned, including where it was, who officiated and how the events would unfold. This is the part I found so interesting.

The outcome of anything you plan will reflect the intention, meaning and planning you put into it.


When you understand that everything has energy, and communicates something specific, it becomes a guide for what you want to include, verses what you don’t. Colors, flowers, objects all have an energetic signature. Do your homework and know what you communicate with your choices.

I loved watching how everything involved in the wedding was understood from this perspective. Pictures of family were included on the chapel alter so they would be included. Jewelry that symbolized the family heritage was pinned to a boutonniere so that energy would be present. Specific readings communicated something personal and special. The flowers were chosen based on their properties. The bouquet  was tossed to a specific person for a specific purpose. Every facet of the ceremony and celebration was considered to make the event extra special.

A special event, especially one that involves ceremony, requires a lot of specificity of detail to rise to the level of your imagination.


We joked about how everyone had fun and got along so well because anyone who didn’t have good energy wasn’t invited. In truth, when you are clear about inviting those you love and enjoy,  you do create a situation where everyone is likely to be a good match to each other.

Getting help from friends was easy in this situation. When people love you, they want and appreciate being involved. It was a fun, high energy, joyous occasion, without drama or conflict. People stepped up to help because they wanted to. This is the positive result that comes when you are clear with your intentions and carefully manage every detail.

Select those to be involved carefully – they are the ones you need to count on.

This wedding event was a love fest, just as it was intended to be! Every nuance of detail was a direct reflection of the high loving energy they put into its planning. They aligned with their values and what they wanted to communicate in each phase. They carefully planned every detail to ensure that everything aligned. And they involved and invited loved ones, family and friends who completely endorsed and supported their union. It was a remarkable reminder that being discerning and attentive to details pays off in every way.

Are you able to put your stamp on things to ensure that they go the way you envision? Are you able to clarify your intentions and raise your energy to meet your greatest visions? If this is something you’d like to explore and enhance, reach out. My Transformation Coaching and Therapy is devoted to this process. See www.spectrumtransformation.com for more information and use my Free Consultation link to reach me. I’d love to help you!

Photo by David Stephenson

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Written by Connie Milligan, LCSW
If there is anything I’ve expressed that speaks to you, I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me at my email, connie [at] conniemilligan [dot] com