March 2, 2020 Blog No Comments

In visiting both our sons the last two weekends, we enjoyed seeing how each is following their happiness. While they are very different, they have made choices that are congruent with what they value and find fulfilling. Lee and I have too, clarifying what’s important to each of us early in our relationship. It’s prompted me to think more about how you ensure that happiness is a cornerstone of your life.

My son has long said he wants to live in the country – he wants to be able to sit on a porch and hear the sounds of nature, not traffic. No surprise he’s in Pulaski County, near the lake and doing just that. Lee’s son likes cities and wants to be around more culture and action – he’s in Louisville and has access to what he loves. Lee and I said we want to travel and see the world through the eyes of those that live there. We have been doing that in spades and are heading to Senegal next week.

So, what is a process that assists you in keeping the key elements of happiness in your life? See if looking at it from a mind, body and soul perspective is a helpful template?

Mind – Clarify What You Think Is Important To Your Happiness

The things I have long said are important to me are water (give me a lake please), a view, sunlight, old trees and architecture. It’s governed vacation choices, where I live, work, and house renovations. Lee likes all these things but the sunshine – he has to suck it up on that one. Of course, there is more to it than this, like friends, family, music, dancing, art, travel, entertaining, canoeing, meditation, exploring other cultures and more. I realize so many of my choices are geared around this list.

Notice, none of this has a direct relationship to what I do for a living. Interesting. My list is like the antidote for stress. I can also say my work makes me very happy. But it’s not the first thing I think about when I consider what brings me happiness.

What’s on your happiness list – Do you find it’s the de-stressing things of life?

Body – Notice How Your Body Feels

Maybe I should have put Body first. I am realizing that the whole category of what makes me happy is generated by how my body reacts. I love how all those things I listed make me relax from the inside out, gives me a sense of pleasure and ease as well as a lift, sometimes even a thrill.

Since we identify things with our mind first, we may not be aware that what is driving us to determine our happiness is actually our body’s reaction to things. It is important to pay attention to this. Some people don’t like crowds and noise, others don’t like bugs and heat. What are the situations and conditions that makes your body say ahh or surge with a sense of peace or excitement? They will likely be on your list of what makes you happy.

Notice how your body react to the things that bring you happiness and do more of it.

Soul – Does It Align With Your Soul

Our soul is the “curator” of our greater good. If we are in alignment with what is good for us then what we think, what we do and how we feel are in agreement and the results are positive. It sounds simple enough, but somehow, we tend to mess this up by not paying attention to our own truth.

Here is where it helps to ask yourselves what makes you happy from your soul’s perspective. If you imagine standing at the top of a pyramid that represents you and looking down at the base, you’ll be looking at yourself within the full context of your life. Now identify your truth. Are you lining everything up in a way that really makes you happy? What is missing, what’s too much or not enough?  Are you allowing happiness to factor into your choices? Let your soul be the arbitrator of your truth about what makes you happy.

You soul knows your truth – ask it if you are allowing and following your happiness.

This is a straightforward exploration on how you allow and follow your happiness. If you look at it from your mind, body and soul perspective, you will discover whether you follow your instincts and fully allow yourself the happiness you say you want. Your mind tells you what you like, and if you are being honest with yourself, it will be what your body finds brings you joy and pleasure. Your soul will be in agreement because it meets your greater good. If any three is not in agreement, you won’t really be happy. What does that tell you  – is anything missing or needed? Hum.

Are you in alignment with what makes you happy or is something off center? This is a wonderful thing to explore – ask yourself what is needed to allow more happiness. If you’d like help, my Transformational Life Coaching and Therapy is designed to support you in this discovery  process. See for more details and reach out using my Free Consultation link. I’d love to help you bring more happiness into your life.

Photo – – Lake Cumberland, Pulaski Co., KY

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Written by Connie Milligan, LCSW
If there is anything I’ve expressed that speaks to you, I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me at my email, connie [at] conniemilligan [dot] com