September 6, 2016 Blog No Comments

divinelove sunflowerI’ve been celebrating my anniversary and preparing for dear friends’ intimate beach wedding. Naturally, the nature and mystery of love is on my mind. We all know the challenge to make it right, to make it real and how when we actually do, the whole world glows with us. When we don’t, we suffer and it’s hard to hide that truth.

What most people don’t want to recognize is that the real challenge is within ourselves, to honor and align with our truth. That’s what I want to write about, how we step up to that challenge.

There is a beautiful passage in Derek Rydall’s book Emergence that speaks to this. He uses a metaphor for aligning with our truth to being like the sun. When we step into the fullness of our being and experience its power, we are irresistible. When we are in that place, recognizing who we actually are, we are better able to give and receive love. When we are true to ourselves, the love you give and receive is real.

“Think of how powerful the sun must feel being able to shine in all its fullness with no agenda. That’s what you’re capable of – walking through the world, so tuned in and turned on, ablaze with the light of the divine, seeking nothing and giving everything. You’ll become unstoppable. More than that, you’ll be a blessing to everyone who crosses your path. The universe will flow through you, to you and around you – all the heavenly riches you could ever imagine and beyond. This is the promise of all masters through the ages. You are the light of the world.” (Rydall, Derek, Emergence, Atria Paperbacks, 2015, page 94)

Yes, our inner light is divine and when we experience it’s power, giving and receiving love is effortless. That’s true love. It is in that place of loving ourselves and those around us that everything flows. Having experienced every facet of love and finally getting it right, I can say the contrast is stunning. As I watch friends, colleagues and clients struggle to get there, I know their pain.

What are the challenges we need to face to step into this place of experiencing true love?

BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF – KNOW YOUR WORTH

When we recognize our full value and worth, it becomes much easier to engage and attract a relationship that is equal to us. When we approach a relationship from a place of feeling deficient, then we often have a deficient relationship.

The starting place is knowing your worth, fully embracing it and not settling for something less. I hear so often that people settled for something that they knew wasn’t right for them. Why do we do that? Relationships are not meant to be fixer up projects. Sometimes that works, but more often it is fraught with struggle. Why enter into a love relationship knowing it’s not right?

The epiphany that hit me was I needed to be a reflection of what I wanted in a love relationship. I stepped up. It worked

Reciprocal love starts with equality

TRUST THE WORLD TO RESPOND

When you fully embrace your worth, the world will fully respond to you. Why? Because the joy and ease you radiate makes everyone comfortable. When you have no agenda other than being yourself, you are in the flow of life.

Lack of trust, suspicion, fear and anxiety create resistance. Even when well founded from past experience, it disconnects us from our nature and the positive aspects of life. It becomes difficult to find love when expecting the worst. In fact, it creates a self-fulfilling prophesy – your attention on the negative keeps that in your experience.

Your instincts know the truth – trust them to show you the positive.

BE OPEN TO THE RISK

Stepping into the flow of positive possibility requires taking the risk to let go of all the baggage of negative expectations. With no suspicion, cynicism, or doubt, only the pure and clear expectation of your dreams, you give yourself to it’s potential. The clearer and more specific the vision, the more possible it becomes. Being open to what you want is the starting point.

It is even possible to change a relationship that has been marred by negativity into the one that is more loving and positive. Try it. If you can envision what is best for you and your relationship, then you can look for evidence of it. A simple shift in focus, thought and response can reshape a relationship that has been problematic into one that is relaxed and more satisfying. It starts with being open.

Open yourself to receive what you want

GIVE TO RECEIVE

Love is not a passive process. Waiting for it to arrive doesn’t work. It takes being more open, trusting and giving to brings in love. Wanting it, declaring it and being willing to respond openly starts the process.

This brings me to the present – the wedding we will be celebrating in a few days,

At my wedding, my girlfriend, who had several unsuccessful relationships, declared that she wanted to find true love. “I want one” she said.  A week later I witnessed the man she is to marry this week walk into her life. It was clear in an instant, by the way he looked at her, that he was ready to give and receive love. She was ready- he was ready and they found each other. As they like to say, they felt married as soon as they met.  Yes, it can be that simple.

When we are truly ready to give, we are able to receive

Often those events that we describe as miraculous, such as the amazing details of finding true love, are simply the internal alignment of our true nature, which attracts and matches it’s natural outward manifestation. It starts with knowing ourselves and claiming our natural gifts, trusting that when we give our gifts to the world, that we will be equally matched. Taking the risk to be open and ask for what we want with an expectation that is always available creates more openness to give. Giving then opens us to receiving. It’s a process. It’s the energetics of the law of vibration that tells us like attracts like. It happens effortlessly when we let it.

Is true love something you seek for yourself? No matter what situation you are currently in, it is possible to create a dynamic change process for it to become a reality. My Transformational Life Coaching generates the internal realignment that invites the external manifestation. For more information, see my website www.spectrumtransformation.com. I invite you to also contact me directly by using my Free Consultation link. I’d love to hear from you.

Written by Connie Milligan, LCSW
If there is anything I’ve expressed that speaks to you, I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me at my email, connie [at] conniemilligan [dot] com