August 6, 2019 Blog No Comments

After all the help we received hosting our big fundraiser, I realized saying thank you is not enough. It took months and months of work to pull it off with friends, neighbors, workers of many kinds and our Board of Directors stepping up to assist. We couldn’t have done it without them. So why isn’t saying thank you enough?

When people give a lot, there is a reciprocity that needs to happen to keep the give and take equation in balance. In my opinion, there is a poverty of appreciation and generosity in our culture. It’s part of what I seek to change in the work I do, to give and appreciate more.

There are several energetic principles at work with this. The Law of Vibration says “like attracts like” so giving more brings it back to you. The Law of Polarity helps us understand why it’s important to keep things in balance and why staying on the positive side helps offset the negativity of greed that has permeated our culture. And the Law of Cause and Effect explains that kindness creates a ripple effect of more kindness.

Here are some concepts that support why the words “thank you” are simply not enough. Let me review them.


I am often bowled over by acts of kindness extended to me. The outpouring of support for our benefit is a good example. People I barely know came to our side and lent their expertise, spending days and weeks helping, not expecting anything in return. People worked to get our house painted, landscaped and ready for the party, responding to calls for help within hours and giving us their all. And many friends stepped up, without being asked, to pitch in to help.

I recognize that for many, this kindness was partly in response to the kindness we’ve extended over the years. It is reciprocity that comes from being consistent in giving more. In addition, our fundraiser benefits our nonprofit that’s about appreciating other cultures and expanding generosity of spirit. With all the difficulty in the news, people are hungry to be associated with something that highlights our universal greater good.  It feels good to be associated with kindness.


Words can be empty when not matched with action. How often do you hear someone says “thanks” but it doesn’t seem sincere or meaningful? It’s become hallow to say it and receive it without a little more. Matching the words with eye contact, a handshake, smile and additional compliments gives the words context.

What is even better is action that adds to the words. The service industry in particular needs us to understand this. We’re big tippers; we have friends that are routinely big tippers. It’s a way of offsetting the great number of people who take advantage of others who work hard with little appreciation.  If you are not tipping 20% or more, please consider adopting this simple habit to illustrate your gratitude along with the sincerity of your thanks.


As the principles helps us understand, the more we show and express gratitude and appreciation with generosity of words and deeds, the more we receive in return.  It is a simple concept that requires practice to make it an everyday habit.

We had over 35 people offering their services or items for auction at our benefit. There is an intangible return to this generosity for both the person gifting their services and the person making a bid. Both expand exponentially. Everyone feels like they have given and received something in the exchange. It is a feel-good process that lifts everyone up.


It is understood in business that the act of  giving workers an annual raise is not enough if you want to cultivate excellence in a work force.  People want to know that they are appreciated and why they are valued within the company. Money is important, but not enough. Just as saying thanks without action is not enough.

When people know why they are appreciated and have that matched with the action of a raise or other perk, they respond with loyalty. Thanks needs to come in both words and action for people to fully get the message.

Now that the fundraiser is over, what do I do to make my thanks of appreciation understood? I share something, I take them to dinner, I do something nice in return. It is a process of expanding generosity beyond the simple thanks. I know the truth of the energetic principles that underlie these concepts. Yes, there is power in kindness, actions speak louder than words, generosity creates more generosity, and good businesses do more for their workers. You have to do more than say thank you.

How does this concept factor into your life? If you want to receive more, try giving more. If you want help getting this beneficial energetic flowing in your life reach out at and use my Free Consultation link. My Transformation Coaching and Therapy utilizes these principles to create positive change in your life. I would love to help it work for you!

*Thanks to Tash Suter for the picture!

Written by Connie Milligan, LCSW
If there is anything I’ve expressed that speaks to you, I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me at my email, connie [at] conniemilligan [dot] com